People are addicted to all sorts of things, from the everyday coffee- and cigarette addictions to the more bizarre. I am addicted to writing online. There, I said it. Until recently, I thought it was just a pastime, a healthy hobby through which I could give a voice to whatever was on my mind and thereby get a greater understanding of myself. But it is really so much more than that.
Part of the addiction is, and I hate to admit this, partly just me craving attention. I have always been comfortable with being the center of attention, whether it was during oral exams at school, performing on stage or whatever, but it never occurred to me, that it might be something I was actively seeking. Well, now I’m thinking that maybe it is. Part of my reason for writing this very sentence, could very well be just so that you will read it.
How did I reach this conclusion? I was reading an article on writing for the web and from ther my mind started to wander. It wandered to stats, for I am a true stat-whore. Several times a day, I will check the charts and curves describing the traffic to all of my many sites, which is also how I can make qualified guesses as to how many people read what I write, because only a small fraction of you readers leave comments as a testament to your being there.
Whenever I go too long without posting to one of my sites (I currently post at irregular intervals to no less than eight blogs), I start being annoyed with myself for it. “If you want readers,” I say to myself, “you must give them something to read”. I do try to keep up, but I am also very aware of what I write.
I won’t just put anything online. Some bloggers write freely about their lovelife, for instance, which I could never do. Nor do I post about religion or certain political issues, for not only do I want readers, but I try to aim my musings and ramblings at a specific crowd: People who are smart enough to figure out where I stand on sensitive issues, without me having to spell it out or readers who don’t care about such things and who are simply entertained by my style. I don’t want people coming here, looking for intimate details or a debate about beliefs.
So, here we are. You, the reader, whom I appreciate very much, not just for feeding my addiction and giving me something to do, but also because you’re smart and enlightened. And then there’s me, the writer, who can only hope that something I say, will some day affect someone enough, that it justifies my addictive behavior. I am glad you took the time to read my post. I would be lost without you.
